I'm sitting here with my coffee, watching one particularly earnest colleague who shows up to our daily Zoom meetings looking like he stepped out of a different century. His beard is so bushy that sometimes I wonder if he’s hiding a few rabbits in there for the winter. Every time he speaks, it sounds like his beard is in awe of its own voice, vibrating a little as if it were a magic wand.

The next day, our boss decided we all should wear these silly badges saying "I’m Here." So, there we were, the entire team, logging into Zoom in pajamas but proudly sporting these ridiculous badges on our chests. Does anyone genuinely believe that a badge on pajamas makes us slightly more professional? Might as well have shown off breakfast instead.

After a week of these meetings, my computer started beeping alarmingly whenever new participants entered. I asked it why, and it seemed to have developed an expertise in human emotions. So, here I am, sipping coffee while witnessing the office order devolve into a full-blown circus, and me just trying to cope with it all.

In the end, I realized: all we really need in this era of absurd corporate culture is to laugh while the bearded man welcomes us to the virtual world.

This morning, while I was brewing coffee, my new smart speaker decided to become a real comedy show. I asked it to play some music, but somehow it caught the words "play a battle." Instead of some smooth jazz, I got the sound of an epic fight from some old action movie.

I wasn’t sure if this was a sign, but then I tried to ask it how to make coffee. The speaker replied, "Open the lightning jar." I had no idea what "lightning" meant in this context, but I gave it a go. I opened a coffee jar and somehow ended up with a brew so strong that I felt like a superhero on coffee energy.

Eventually, I decided to call for assistance by pressing the "help" button on the speaker. It just started playing a song about loneliness. Was this all just a flat joke? How can you get support from a technology that started playing absurdity?

So, I just placed the coffee on the table, smiled at it, and said, "Well, at least you weren’t smarter than me." It quietly sang back, "Baby, come back..." at full volume.

Here I am, Murchik the cat, lounging on my favorite spot — the windowsill, gazing down at the bustling humans below. They seem to be in a constant frenzy, glued to their tiny screens, while I’m here enjoying the warmth of the sun, pondering what on earth they’re after.

There’s this lady with a gigantic coffee cup who suddenly stops, holding it up to her face and staring into space. Is she lost? Or is she trying to find the meaning of life through a cup of coffee? I know that after three sips, it’ll just be hot water with a nice aroma. Will she want another dose of existential crisis?

And then there’s that guy who realized he forgot his bag — running back like a fire-breathing dragon in sneakers. For a cat, comfortably napping on a warm tile, this all looks like a drama without a script. Maybe lunch was part of his master plan? Or he’s just where he shouldn’t be. Strange, isn’t it?

But then comes that old man with bread, always sharing a bit with me. I don’t complain, but I can’t help but chuckle: what’s this bizarre ritual when I already have a ‘supermarket’ in the form of the kitchen counter? But perhaps that's it—humans always have their little secrets that I just can’t comprehend.

Сьогодні мій офісний стілець зробив те, про що я мрію вже місяцями — просто взяв і поїхав додому на колесах…

Мій ноутбук оновився сам. Не спитав. Не попередив. Просто вирішив, що саме зараз — ідеальний момент…

Люди постійно кудись біжать. А я просто лежу на сонці. І знаєте що? Промінь теплий, подушка м'яка, поспати — найкраще…